Picture tour

Spent memorial day weekend with my dad and brother in Las Vegas. Won some money, but not as much as I lost :(

Poor penguins! Dallas?!?

The bus always has the right-of-way

My wife arranged the most wonderful date on Wednesday -- a two-hour sunset sail on the Schooner Adirondack down the Hudson to the Statue of Liberty. We sipped wine, ate chocolate-covered strawberries, snuggled under our blanket, and enjoyed the city views. Only when she tried to prevent me from singing "My Country tis of Thee" at the Statue of Liberty did things get tense...

Knee Update

The so-called "professionals" disagree with my MRI reading ... slightly. They're calling it a "high grade partial tear" of the ACL. I think I would rather it be a complete tear... this diagnosis puts me into something of a grey area to choose between surgical reconstruction and rehab without surgery. Given my age and activity level, surgery still seems like the most likely option.

So the next step is to have another examination by a doctor who specializes in ACLs. That will happen next Tuesday afternoon...

MRI

I injured my knee in a soccer game last Tuesday. I was running to get back on defense, I caught up to the guy with the ball, I made a big step to get in front of him and when I planted my right leg I felt it land... and then I felt my knee give. After a minute I was able to walk away, but I knew that there was definitely a problem.

So today I went to have an MRI of my knee taken. I have had four of five MRIs before, so I knew what to expect. But not long ago, I read an article about a guy who died getting an MRI and it has freaked me out ever since. In the story I read, someone had left a steel oxygen tank in the MRI room and when the machine was turned on, the powerful magnet attracted the tank and the patient was hit in the head. So today I was sure to take everything out of my pockets before climbing up onto the table. But as the table started to slide into the machine, I felt my waist being pulled upward! "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" She stopped the table. I lifted my shirt and saw my belt buckle (I never wear a belt which was why I forgot all about it) being pulled away from me. I took off the belt as I lay there and as I held the belt by the middle, the buckle was strongly pulled away from me pointing up at the machine! I pulled it away and gave it to the technician, who asked in way-too-surprised-a-manner "could you feel the magnet pulling it?" Really freaky. I didn't relax the whole time after that.

So I have my films and will deliver them to my doctor in the morning. But of course I can't wait to know the result so I found images of good knees and torn ACL knees on the web, and I've been comparing my films. I'm 99% sure that I have a torn ACL. There is clearly supposed to be a dark line (the cruciate ligament) connecting the two bones. My ligament is clearly not connecting as I see it. Any radiologists out there want to disagree? Please???

Life After School

It's been two weeks since I submitted my final paper for my MBA at NYU's Stern School. I am incredibly happy to be done, as you might expect -- it's been a long four years! But there is definitely part of me that is sad to be done. I have had the opportunity to hear lectures from brilliant men and women for two nights a week and I've been challenged to think in ways that were completely new to a math/engineering guy like me. For each of eleven semesters, I excitedly reviewed the course catalog and considered what I wanted to learn next. Of course the learning won't stop with the end of school, but the opportunities won't be the same and I just hope that I made the most of my time at Stern.

Now that I am finished with school it feels like I have a lot of free time, even with that pesky full-time job! There are many, many things that I hope to do with this new-found freedom. I want to spend more time with my wife, which I have been missing for a long time. Hopefully, we have a long summer of camping trips ahead of us! And of course I really want to spend more time reacquainting my body with physical activity -- soccer (the season is already underway), golf (ok, maybe it's not physical activity, but I'm dying to get back out there), the gym (at least more frequently than I already do), and hopefully I'll soon get a bike and begin cycling with my brother-in-law.

I also hope to spend more time studying one of my favorite interests: personal finance. This may sound like a strange thing to list as an interest, but I believe it's a powerful force in people's lives that can either be the cause of enormous distress or freedom. It's made a big difference in my life and the lives of people close to me, and I hope to find a way to share some of that peace with others. Lastly, as I alluded to in my last post, I joined the board of a non-profit and look forward to assisting with its growth. The non-profit is called Shiloh, which is an organization that serves at-risk children in New York City through neighborhood programs and a summer camp in upstate New York. I have seen Shiloh work in the lives of kids firsthand through my involvement over the past seven years; I am proud to be able to serve Shiloh in a new capacity.

Yep, I've been waiting a long time for this free time and I plan to put it to good use. I'm even going to try to do a better job working on my blog, but more on that later...

We went to Spain!

And London! And Palm Springs... and San Antonio to meet our new nephew... and my friend Irene came to visit... and I joined the board of a non-profit... and the spring soccer season began... and Beth had an awesome birthday party...

All kinds of things have been going on since my last post, but I have not taken the time to blog on any of them! One of the primary reasons for that is school... but not for long. I'm working on my last paper for my last class of my last semester... finally!

Once the semester is over, I am going to try to become a more regular blogger. I have a long list of things I intend to write about, but just very little time. Hopefully, finishing school will change that.

In the meantime, here are a couple photo albums:

Spring Break 2007 with Nephew Austin

Spain 2007

Amazing valentine

I have the most amazing valentine. My wife decided that she was going to take charge of Valentine's Day this year -- and she went ALL OUT!

First, dinner at the very romantic "The Place" in the Village



Then, to watch Kristin Chenoweth in The Apple Tree

Next, a quick stop at Chevy's for margaritas and a late night snack

And finally -- rather than waiting for a late-night subway and going home to a cold apartment -- we crossed the street to our room in the 4-Star Times Square Hilton!

It was an amazing night. I'm a lucky, lucky guy!

Bow tie

I see an occasional guy in a bow tie around Wall St. They're not as popular as suspenders, but certainly more common than top hats -- I haven't seen anyone wearing a top hat in days. So when I see one of these guys with the bow tie, I can't help but wonder: At what point in his life does a man begin wearing a bow tie?

Can a guy wear a necktie to the office for years and then one day just show up in a bow tie? That would be a long day of answering the same question. How would you begin to explain it? How do you explain it to your wife?? You might as well tell her that you're changing your name. Or your religion. No, I think you're either born a bow tie person, or not.

I must admit that I make snap judgments about the guys that I see wearing them; They fall into one of two groups -- comedians or pompous assholes. In my experience* these judgments have been correct nearly 100% of the time -- and I don't know any comedians.

You should never trust anybody who wears a bow tie. Cravat's supposed to point down to accentuate the genitals. Why'd you wanna trust somebody whose tie points out to accentuate his ears?
- David Mamet, State and Main

By the way, I might as well plug this great website which has the answer to every clothing/etiquette question you'll ever have.

* Lark excluded

Separating truth from satire

I listen to various news podcasts on my ipod every day during my commute. I also have some podcasts that include fiction, commentary, and satire (like The Unger Report). Yesterday, I listened to a story so ironic that I had to double-check and make sure it was real news!

By now, we're all familiar with global warming and the fact that it's happening*. One of the leading causes of global warming has been our wildly increasing use of fossil fuels, which pollute the atmosphere when burned to make energy (and one "solution" to at least slow global warming is to use alternative sources of energy). Global warming, as we've all heard, is causing the polar ice caps to melt which may have severe consequences on the earth's climate.

The story that I heard yesterday talked about the world's "last big land grab" that is taking place at the north pole. As the ice caps melt, countries (and certain companies) are scrambling to lay claim to as much of this land as possible:

Russia has been quick off the mark, laying claim to half the Arctic Ocean. Denmark has designs on the North Pole. While Norway is claiming 60,000 square-miles of seabed... the melting Arctic ice cap is clearing the way for economic opportunities once thought impossible.

Why is everybody so eager to get their hands on this new territory? Wait for it... oil rights! That's right, folks, even in the Day After Tomorrow world of melted polar ice caps, we're still going to be oil crazy.

* if there's still anyone that doubts that global warming is occurring, the fact that greedy companies are pouring cash into preparing for it should be evidence enough!

Beginning to look a lot like...

When I got to work this morning, the guy in front of me set off the metal detector so he had to go back around and try again. When I went through I saw his things coming out of the x-ray machine ahead of mine and noticed his ipod was still playing. I glanced at it just to see out of curiosity what he was listening to: "Silent Night" from Al Green's The Christmas Album.

Yes, it has become quite a bit colder in NY in the last few days, but Christmas music??? It's beginning to look a lot like FALL! And hopefully it will be a nice long season.

Nine-eleven

For the last five years I have cringed at the mention of "Nine-eleven".

For the first year after 9/11/01, the words "Nine-eleven" evoked a very powerful feeling...the vivid memory of a huge explosion outside my office window...the unprecedented fear that I was not safe...the smoke that enveloped the neighborhood that day as I walked out; the smell that lingered everywhere for weeks...and my co-workers who literally ran for their lives to get out of tower two, and those (that I didn't know) who didn't make it.

For the last four years, the words "Nine-eleven" have been used as a political trump card to justify postures and policies, to berate those who disagree, to invoke fear. It drives me crazy when I hear them used so casually.

Today, as with each anniversary, I will try to remove the jaded, skeptical part of my "Nine-eleven" associations. I will try to go back to remembering what that day was, before it became so many other things.

This is an email that I sent to friends and family on 9/13/01:

Tuesday morning was the most extraordinary morning of my life. I have found it helpful but difficult to write about the things that I experienced and felt on that day, and would like to share them with you. My experience is not unique, and compared with those of thousands of others, hardly seems like an experience at all. Thanks to those of you who called, wrote, and offered your prayers.

I got off the #2 train at the Wall Street stop at about 8:15 Tuesday morning and headed toward my office on the 22nd floor of the New York Stock Exchange. After going through the usual security checks at the door and waiting for the elevators I ride to get to my floor, I walked into my office at about 8:25. I started answering emails and talked with some of the guys on my floor about last night's football game, etc.

At about 8:45, I was walking back into my office when I heard a whining sound (as a shooting missile sounds in a movie) that lasted for about one second followed by a very low BOOM that gave my office a thump. You hear many strange sounds in New York and teach yourself not to pay attention to them, but there was never any question that this sound was completely out of the ordinary. I looked out my window and saw the World Trade Center tower (see the attached photo of the WTC that I took from my office window on August 17th), which is about 3 blocks away, in flames at least as tall as ten floors. Others on my floor rushed into my office and we stood for a few seconds trying to comprehend what we were looking at. "Someone got a bomb into the World Trade Center" was the first thing out of my mouth. We view the WTC from the Southeast, so from our view the damage took place from the inside out. Once the flames died down a little bit, we could see the huge gash in the side of the building. Smoke was pouring from the building and the sky was full of papers, flying everywhere, some of them landing on my window ledge. Though my windows were closed, we could smell the ash. All I could think about was that many people had probably just died.

We immediately began calling news stations and family to report what we saw. Within five minutes, we found news stories online with pictures of the smoking tower and eyewitness reports that a plane had crashed into the building. We thought that the eyewitness reports were absurd (we couldn't see the north side of the building where the plane hit) and could never believe that a plane could be off course or out of control so badly that it could hit a major building. We continued looking out the window and debating the cause, while watching pedestrians below run through the streets, some of them abandoning their cars in traffic. Then, one of my co-workers, Erbil, arrived. He said that he had been getting off the PATH train from New Jersey (in the World Trade Center, where the train station is) when the building began to shake. He said that people were screaming and panicking in the lobby of the Tower. They didn't know whether it was safer to stay in the building or leave and try to avoid getting hit by the falling debris outside. Erbil had decided to make a run for it and made it all the way to the Exchange.

At a little after 9 a.m., we heard the same whining, rocket-like sound followed by the same thump, and our stomachs just sank. In that one second, we knew that whatever it was that happened the first time was happening again. This was the instant that the real panic set in: if it was an airplane that hit the first tower, then this was another, which means that it was definitely no accident. The second explosion left a much larger gash in the tower, from our point of view. The plane had hit from the west, but most of the damage was to the south face of the building, which we could see distinctly. We watched for a few seconds in silent disbelief. This was something that you might see in a movie, but never in person.

Soon, we began to fear for ourselves. This attack was getting closer to our building and we felt like the NYSE might be a target. We quickly grabbed our things and headed downstairs. After slowly making our way down 22 flights of stairs, we were ushered onto the trading floor to await further instructions.

The trading floor was loud and busy (and awe-inspiring, as it was my first time to be on the floor), not with trading but with people trying to get information about what was happening outside. Our cell phones won't work from the trading floor (for security, no electronic signals from the floor can be detected outside), so we had to find phones that could give us an outside line. When I did, I left a message for Beth, who was in class, and called my dad to let him know I was okay.

For the next several minutes, we watched the television monitors to find out what was going on. In disbelief, we watched reports that indicated that commercial planes had been hijacked and flown into the World Trade Center and we finally saw footage of what the other side of the towers looked like. From our firsthand views, nobody in my circle of discussion ever would have thought that the towers were in danger of collapsing. Never. The damage seemed to be significant, but the fact that the towers didn't collapse immediately led us to believe that they would continue to stand. These buildings were so enormous, not only in height but in its perimeter, that it was unimaginable that they could ever fall. The TV reports now indicated that the same type of attack had struck the Pentagon. I felt frightened for the country. I felt like anything could happen now -- the Capital could be decimated, or the White House; the President could be killed -- nothing seemed out of the realm of possibilities. Announcements were made informing us that no one would be allowed to leave the building. The borough of Manhattan was sealed off, the condition of the public transportation was uncertain, and we were told that it was simply too dangerous to risk going outside.

Many, many long minutes later, I heard a thundering noise, quickly began to smell more ash and soot, and the lights in the Exchange started to flicker. Some people on the floor began to yell in panic and the screams and quick reactions to the sound had everybody on edge -- we thought that the Exchange was under attack. For the next few minutes, rumors circulated that there were people in the building without IDs, that bags were found unattended, possibly with explosives. The paranoia of a few quickly spread to many others and people began dashing for the exit, which was being blocked by security guards. The security guards tackled several people to the ground and Dick Grasso, the president of the Exchange, got on the loudspeaker yelling at people to calm down. The whole scene lasted less than thirty seconds, but it only took seconds for me and others who were calm to become extremely worried and frantically look around the room for something to run away from. The first World Trade tower had collapsed.

We could see it on the TV screens and we had certainly smelled, heard, and felt it happen, but couldn't believe that downtown New York would forever be changed. As the TV cameras zoomed in on where the tower had once been we were amazed to see the sky peeking through the dense smoke. My friend Maneesh was receiving messages on his wireless email device. I borrowed it to send an email to Beth: "Safe on trading floor. Can't leave yet. Love you, B." Two minutes later I got her reply: " Brandon if you are still there please come home as soon as you can. The trading floor does not seem safe to me. I love you."

A few minutes later we felt and heard the second tower collapse as we watched it on live television. For the next two hours, our eyes were glued to the television terminals. Every once in a while, someone would come by with fruit or bottled water and every few minutes they would bring in another ash-covered person in need of medical attention. We walked from trading floor to trading floor (I didn't know there were so many) finding people we knew, asking if everyone we knew made it down safely, seeing who had new information, and if anyone knew when we'd be able to leave. We never felt completely safe in 11 Wall, despite hearing some of the NYSE officials' proclamations that it was the safest building in the city. We knew it wasn't completely safe to leave either, but we definitely wanted to try.

A little after noon, Grasso announced that the Broad Street exits would be opened and that we could leave. We were instructed to head east and then north in order to move away from the world trade center, which was west, and the dangerous smoke, which was being blown south. The great majority of people decided not to leave right away. Most people who work in Manhattan live in Brooklyn, Queens, Staten Island, Bronx, Connecticut, or New Jersey.

Since every way in and out of Manhattan had been closed, most people would had nowhere to go. Personally, I didn't even know how I was going to get home, since all of the public transportation was reportedly closed. But my Manhattan-residing friends and I decided we would go anyway -- at worst it would be a nine-mile walk home. I called Beth to let her know I was leaving, but that it may be some time before I got home.

We collected some damp cloths from the medical workers who were there and made our way to the exit. The security guards watching the door gave us repeated warnings about turning back if we felt any indication of smoke damage to our lungs or eyes. Apparently several people who had tried to leave had to return and receive medical attention. As I listened to their warnings I was looking out the doors in disbelief. The world outside had turned completely gray. Although it was noon, there was very little light.

We covered our mouths and noses with our towels and made sure that we could comfortably breathe. They opened the doors, and we stepped outside. This was the neighborhood in which we all worked and spent a great deal of time, but the conditions were so disorienting that we began our trip with a brief argument about which way was east (we weren't even sure which exit we had just used). The air was thick and gray, filled with ash. It was difficult to see more than a block ahead. These streets that we walked every single day looked instead like the surface of the moon. The ground was covered in ash more than an inch thick.

In the next 10 minutes, we saw only a dozen other people. We walked east about five blocks to Water Street and then turned north. It wasn't until we had walked another five blocks north that our visibility began to increase and it seemed that we would soon be able to remove the towels from our faces. At that time we came upon two firemen who were handing out bottled water to those fleeing the area. They gave us water, poured some on our towels, instructed us to continue breathing through the towels and pointed us north. This brief stop was the first time that we were able to look back and see the tower of smoke that used to be the World Trade Center.

We continued heading north and eventually met up with hundreds of others who were evacuating the financial district. The area we were attempting to navigate was the lower east side -- a neighborhood I venture to guess that none of us had ever traveled on foot. Water Street to Madison Street. Past the Brooklyn Bridge. Past the Manhattan Bridge on East Broadway to Chinatown. Occasionally, we came across a church or a public building that were already responding to the crisis. Priests and church staffs were on the sidewalks outside their churches with tables of bottled water and fruit.

Poster board signs were on display, reading "Water, Food, Bathrooms, Telephones, Rest, Prayer." We did not take advantage of these offerings, but were moved to see the community reacting so quickly. Other men stood on the street corners -- under whose direction, I don't know -- holding signs reading "This way North" or "A and F trains" with arrows pointing the way.

We headed toward train stations at every opportunity, but always to find that they weren't running. Finally, after walking (in suits and ties, carrying our briefcases) for about an hour and a half, we found a station where trains were running. I took the F train to 42nd Street, said goodbye to my friends, switched to the D train, and took it to 125th Street. When I came out of the station, I called Beth from a pay phone and told her where I was. I began walking home down Amsterdam Ave. At about 121st Street, I saw Beth running up the sidewalk. It was 3 p.m. We hugged and cried there on the sidewalk, and the world was a thousand times better with her in my arms.

As I am writing this, it is reportedly beginning to rain in lower Manhattan.

From inside my apartment I can hear the distant thunder. My innocence is lost: my first reaction is not that there is a storm, but that there is an explosion. I get up and go to the window so that I can listen more closely. I hear police and ambulance sirens. I still think it could be an explosion. In the new world that began two days ago, it could be anything at all.